The Big Picture

See the picture up there, the one at the beginning of this blog?  That's Gabe.  He is our ten year old son who is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.  I love this picture of him, because it is the big picture.  He is at homeschool gym class, socializing, being lead by someone other than his mom (thanks to two truly special women Jaclyn and Julianne - do you know them?  If not, you should.  A true example of Christian sisterhood...I feel a blog post coming on!).  He has been asked to stop, stand still and listen and feel the rhythm of his heart.  His face is so serene; he is at total peace.  Why?  Because he is listening to his inner rhythm, the beat of the unheard drum that creates the base line for the harmony of his life.  I believe that is why Gabriel is successful.  While he strives to be part of this world, to make friends, to go to Sunday School and to be social, he is also amazingly able to be still, hear his own beat and be at peace.   Oh, if only I could learn that lesson from my dear, sweet boy.

For those of you who know and love and appreciate the quirky wonderfulness that is Gabe, thank you.  He could not be who is or do what he does if it weren't for your love and understanding.  More so, thank you Jesus for loving Gabe, for allowing us to be his earthly parents and for allowing him to find strength and comfort in you.  You are his rock, and reading your word is how he soothes himself.

The big picture... knowing who you are and being happy with it, loving people and knowing they love you, knowing God and finding you strength and peace in Him.  Gabe's ten and he's got it all.  Gabe, you probably won't read this, but Tommy will and he will tell you all about it.  You are my joy, and I love you to the moon and back.

My awesome gray bag

One year, how long ago I can't quite recall, I went birthday shopping with my mom at the Army and Navy Store.  Not the girliest place to go and pick out a birthday present, but thanks to Camp Wood Haven and Snow Mountain Ranch, my leatherness (that whole bit will make more sense in future posts; obviously things I need to explain) was in full effect, and I was looking for things that would help me in my wanderings.  I loved this gray bag at first sight.  It has pockets for everything.  It goes across one shoulder so you can have it on your back and then swing it forward to gain access to the pockets.  Because there is a place for everything, I never forget anything.  When I use this bag it is the only time I am guaranteed to have tissues, hand sanitizer, a water bottle, extra batteries, my camera, my wallet, ibuprofen, band aids, wet wipes, cell phone, pens and a sharpie.  Because of this, it tends to come along on our outings.

Recently, my family was gifted a day at Hershey Park through the virtual charter school that my sons use.  A full day at Hershey with catering and parking is not something in the Craig Family Budget, so we were thrilled to be able to go.  I of course grabbed my gray bag so that we would have everything we needed for a successful day.  As I began to open it's pockets, I was praising God for the opportunity to take my children on such an extravagant outing.  We are not the kind of family who take vacations every year or go to theme parks every summer, so this was truly special; a day the kids would never forget.  I went about the work of cleaning out the pockets and restocking necessities, and  I was awestruck at what I found in the pockets: pamphlets from our Scouts sponsored day in New York City to see the Intrepid, ticket stubs from our free day at the Philadelphia zoo, a Knoebel's bracelet from the trip we took courtesy of Phil's parents, a Disney card from our once in a lifetime extended family trip to Disney - a Christmas gift from Grammy and Pappy.  There is a tear in the bag from one of our outdoor adventures, a mud smudge from the mines we went to with our homeschool group, and paint from an art activity we did at an outdoor festival many many moons ago.  This bag is full of memories of simple pleasure, tremendous generosity and family fun.  Whenever I begin to think that I have it so rough, when I feel those pangs of jealousy as my friends head for the beach I will look at this bag and remember it is not the destination.  The trick is enjoying the journey with the people you love.  I don't need a sandy beach, a mountaintop or a theme park, I just need the wonderful people God has blessed me with in this life.  That is more than enough vacation and adventure for me.

By the way, for as long as I have had this bag it still has tons of life left in it.  If you are up for an adventure, a hike, a little letterboxing... give us a call. We'll bring the bag. 

Just to gross out Emily and Tommy!

Pardon the quality of the photo, but I an having trouble downloading photos from my camera, so the phone photo will have to do.  Now I know I said this was just to gross out two of my favorite people, but it's also because this was so yummy and delicious and from my own little kitchen and well.... I'm proud.  Let me tell you a little bit about what you are seeing here in this picture.

A few months ago, I went to Whole Foods and tried some of their Curry Tofu Salad.  It was good, but not vegan.  So last night I decided to give it a shot.  I used pre-cubed tofu as I find that helps with the watery icky texture thing that keeps many people from trying tofu.  I seasoned the tofu with salt, pepper, cumin and curry powder and browned it in a little olive oil.  While the tofu was getting a tan, I chopped a golden delicious apple, two stalks of celery and a chunk of Vidalia onion.  Then I stuck my head in the pantry and looked for raisins.  I found some poor, sad raisins at the bottom of a container, and while they should have been compost bound, I threw the little buggers in the bowl.  To all this goodness I added some Veganaise, curry powder, salt, pepper and just a smidge of cayenne.  I added the browned tofu, mixed it all up, ate more than I should have and put the rest in the fridge to meld for the evening.  What you see up there in the right hand corner of the post is all that yumminest on a couple of pieces of sprouted sourdough bread.  Let me tell you, that is some fine eating!!

Now if I had all to do again, and trust me I will do it again and again and again, I would do a few things different.  First, instead of petrified black raisin I would use some fresh yummy golden raisins.  I would also have some chopped walnuts on hand.  And maybe a red apple for color as I am not big on peeling apples. 

Really yummy, and the added benefit of grossing out Em and Tommy!  Life is just delicious!

Splendiferousness ... when things are so good you make up words

There are so many super fantastic things to tell you.... birthday parties, getaways to Atlantic City, shopping at the Hershey Outlets with women who have been my friends for decades, Preschool Celebrations.... so much. I am so tremendously filled with joy and so deeply touched by the love that has been shown to me.  Let me try to put into words some of the goodness.

1. For my 40th birthday, my husband planned a little surprise party.  My dear friends Tonya and Darren and their super fabulous daughter took me out for dinner while the guests arrived at my home.  I had such a great dinner, and then came home to my family (including my dad who had never seen my house) and our good friends Joan and Morgan.  During the party my mom, sister and sister-in-law gave me a most amazing present - an all girls Bahama Cruise for the 4 of us!! I still can't believe it.
2. My friend Susan has a way of making the mundane fun and the fun incredible.  For my birthday, she took me to Atlantic City for three days and two nights.  Thanks to two icky rugs and both of us taking turns stepping on questionable wet spots, we were upgraded to a suite!  It was amazing.  I am still considering moving in to the bathroom as it was huge.  We also had a spa day, ate amazing food, discovered the down falls of surface parking and survived The Ridge and have the t-shirt to prove it.  It was a wonderfully fun and relaxing trip.  Thanks Susan!
3. My preschoolers and co-workers are the best.  The teachers had the kids sign a huge terra cotta pot and then filled it with perfection - purple petunias. They also made we wear a special tiara (which I did with joy) and served a lovely snack and treated me like gold.  Teachers from the Pre-K room gave me goodies for my spa get away. After school, we had our annual teacher's appreciation luncheon, which was simply lovely. I work at the most amazing preschool where the kids, their families and my co-workers and just the best.  Thanks students, families, Andrea, Sharon, Emily, Tammy and Andrea.  You may my day GREAT!
4. On my  birthday, Tommy and his baseball team won a game ..... for the first time! Thank you Williams Township Yankees for making my day extra awesome. 
5. This past weekend, I met up with my college housemates Tonya and Betsy for a girls' getaway.  We stayed up way too late, shopped the outlets, ate great food and gout caught up on each other lives.  I love these two women so much, and it has been far too long since we have been together.  Thanks to both of you for spoiling me rotten, and to Tonya's mom, Bea, who took us all out to lunch.
6. Sunday I took time out and was treated to a yummy lunch by my friend Steph. It was great to catch up with her and hear how God is working in her life and to remember how He is working in mine.

There is more, much more, but time has flown and I need to get some snuggle time in with Phil.  We have been so "on the go" lately that our time together has been limited, and that make me cranky!  So, I am going to go an get my daily dose of Phil. Thanks to everyone who is part of my splendiferous life.  I  have so much to be thankful for that I can't help bu remember that fine Veggie Tale song, "A thankful heart is a happy heart".  I couldn't be happier!

By His grace and for His glory,
Dawn

PS - The picture has nothing to so with anything, I just like Gabe in it :)

And a happy vegan morning to you!

Since November, I have been trying to be more aware of how I treat my body. I have been doing crazy things like trying to sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours a night, moisturizing, being more active and being aware of what I put in my mouth. I know it seems radical to many, but I have been eating mostly vegan, and it works for me and my body. This morning I splurged and decided to have a little Toffutti cream cheese. It is soy based, so I don't use it often, but today it was just what I needed. So it was lightly toasted, sprouted sourdough bread with a healthy schmear of onion "cream cheese", topped with onions, garlic and spinach lightly sauteed in a spritz of olive oil and just a dab of Earth Balance. Trust me when I say, "Yummmmmmmy"!

Yikes! There is someone out there who understands me!

Have I told you about my friend Emily? She's is a truly amazing woman. She is a tremendously gifted writer, teacher and friend. Emily also shares my deep desire to find new ways to reach special needs children. More than anything, she is a woman of God; someone who eagerly seeks His face and direction. She has taught me much these past two years. I often have to stop and remind myself that she is only 19. I just can't wait to see what God has in store for her.

Perhaps one of the neatest things about Emily, as far as I am self-centeredly concerned, is that she totally gets me. She completely understands the weird way my brain works. This makes for lots of good times at preschool. Working with a bunch of four years-olds is too much fun to begin with, but add in someone who understands and appreciates your quirky view of the world, and well lets just say I laugh until I snort on a regular basis.

When I titled this blog, it definitely had a double meaning. To many people, "To Hear You" is representative of my life goal of hearing from those who have no voice. While this pertains to those with special needs and my desire to help them be heard by the world, it also includes those who are oppressed and persecuted. My greatest hope is that I will spend the rest of my life working towards this goal. But the even greater meaning behind "To Hear You" is my daily desire to hear from God and to know His will for my life. Living the life He created for me, being in His will is the greatest joy. Emily, knowing this is my heart's desire, got the title immediately. She sent me this on Facebook last night:

Hi Dawn,

I really like the title you've chosen for your blog...all night long the phrase "To Hear You" has been bouncing around my head. There's a poem there. I haven't quite found it yet, but I've started digging...


“Grace”

To learn, to know, to listen
Though thunder fills my ears
To see beyond the lightning bursts
To feel You dry my tears
To wander from You when I'm lost
And wrestle when I'm found
To shed my pride and take Your hand
To hear You in each sound.




It took me a while to get my jaw up off the ground. It is an amazing thing when someone you deeply love and admire understands you and helps you clear the mud from your ears and eyes. Emily is one of those people in my life. I thank God for the road that He has allowed us to walk together, and I pray we will continue to share this journey for the rest of my life.

Do you know my friend Emily? If not, I strongly encourage you to get to know this amazing woman of faith. She has touched my heart and enriched my life. I will never be the same. Thank you, Jesus!

Why Tommy is awesome!

Tommy is the youngest of our kids. From the moment he was born, he has been our laughter. Today, he has really just touched my heart and brought me so much joy. First, he has been my best cheerleader when it came to applying to go back to college. I dare say he is as excited as I am. Then, when he found out I had started blogging, he couldn't wait to get online to see what I was talking about. He was the first to comment and is my first follower. What a neat guy!

Tommy, I know you are going to read this, so let me say it loud and clear for you and everyone else. I love you, Tommy. You are such a unique and special person, and God has an awesome plan for you. I can't wait to see where He takes you. Thanks for always being excited for me and for thinking I can do anything. You make me a better person every day! Love you tons!

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Yes, I know. I am a late bloomer. First I tell you about my joy of turning 40, and now I'm about to share what I want to be when I grow up. Most people have this figured out before they begin their fifth decade of life. It took some wandering for me. Here's the current recipe for my life goal:



1. a healthy dash of early childhood education
2. a pinch of the medical field
3. a helping and a half of some really fabulous special needs kids
4. a sprinkling of the many people who have inspired and encouraged me

Mix together. Get out all the lumps. Add textbooks, term papers and coffee as needed. Bake at East Stroudsburg University for four years. Remove when bachelors and masters in Speech Pathology, CCC-SLP are complete.

It has taken me a while, but I am beginning to understand why God has placed me on this journey in just this way. I want to hear from kids who have not been heard from before. I want to help them find ways to let us know who they are and what they need. I am compelled to find ways to teach them about Jesus and to help their families find hope and peace through the love and word of God. I can only begin to imagine what God has planned for me as I step out in faith and claim this vision. The excitement makes it hard to sit still. I love when I cry out, "Send me, Jesus" and He gives me a shove out the door!

I got the e-mail today. I have been accepted into the program at ESU. Prayers would be appreciated as I navigate things like financial aid and how to manage my family and my home. As always, I am beyond grateful that this is being done by the power and with the grace of Jesus. There is no other way I could even begin to dream this big!

By His grace and for His glory,
Dawn

Reflections on turning 40

It's official. My 40th birthday is on the horizon. Next Monday I will enter the next decade of my life. I have found myself going back to the beginning of this current decade over and over again. My 30th birthday was celebrated with a surprise party thrown by my family. It was held at my home, on a Sunday. It was also the Sunday that I was hosting my sister's bridal shower. Hmmmmm...... Let me just paint you a picture.

That Sunday, like every other Sunday, we woke up, pressed for time, trying desperately to get the three kids ages 4,2 and 9 months out the door and to church on time. I was pregnant with our Tommy, and was also carting everything I needed for my sister's shower, because we were having it at our church. Needless to say, the house looked like a hurricane had hit when we left. Fast forward about 8 hours. Church is done, I have helped to host a wonderful shower for my sister, the church hall is clean, and I am looking forward to going home and putting my fat, pregnant feet up. As my mom and godmother were at the shower, they had left my two youngest in the care of my step-dad and godfather while Phil came over and gave me a hand cleaning up. When we got back to the house, my step-dad was looking out the door, as though he couldn't wait for us to get there. All I could think of was, "what have those boys done to put such fear in a grown man?". Imagine my surprise when I walked through the door to discover all of my closest friends and family there to celebrate my birthday! In my joy and shock, one thought rose to the top and nearly made my brain explode,

"WHEN I LEFT HERE THIS MORNING THIS HOUSE WAS A DIRTY DIAPER AWAY FROM BEING CONDEMNED BY THE BOARD OF HEALTH AND NOW IT'S FULL OF PEOPLE! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Just as I was about to pass out and blame it on the pregnancy hormones, my friend Tonya, who has been my friends since college and still manages to love me, came up to me, hugged me, and whispered the sweetest words I have ever heard,

"We've been here since noon. Even the bathrooms are clean."

Now that's a true friend.

With the knowledge that my house was in good shape, I was able to relax and enjoy the company of the people I love best in this world. Friends from all over the world sent their well wishes by mail and e-mail. I can remember few times that I have felt so loved. It was an amazing day, and I felt great about turning 30. I was married to the man of my dreams, the older kids were growing and thriving, Gabriel was getting healthier everyday, and our dear Tommy was on his way. We had great friends, neighbors and family. There was nothing else I needed in this world.

Now, with 40 looming, I have to stop and ask myself if I am as content now as I was then. And the answer is no. For as great as I thought I had it at 30, it pales in comparison to the joy I have now. My kids are growing into people that I am amazed by everyday. They are healthy, smart, compassionate, funny, interesting people that I love to spend time with. My relationships with my family continue to grow. My sister had become my best friend and my inspiration. My mom continues to be the great constant in my life; the one who really knows where all the skeletons are hidden but still thinks I am perfect. My in-laws have become true parents to me, and I love them ferociously. While the pace at which we live life leaves little time for social outings, the friends that I do have are people I would walk through fire for, and I know they would do the same for me. The work that I do gives me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. And my marriage.... I never realized you could love someone the way I love Phil. Almost 16 years into it and he still takes my breath away.

And all of this is fabulous and wonderful and amazing..... and nothing without my Jesus. How do I ever explain how He has changed me? How His love and grace are what got me here. That without Him, I would have nothing, be nothing. As I race into this next decade, He has opened my eyes and given me the direction I have so desired. I feel as though my feet are so firmly on the path that He has chosen for me. There is such tremendously hard work ahead, and on my own, I would never be able to accomplish it. Thankfully, I will be doing this all in His strength, in His time, by His grace and for His glory.

As we use to say on the Appalachian Trail, "Onward, Upward and Forever Forward". Thank you for who you are in my life. I look forward to sharing the journey with you.